When my mentor in the Ancestral work asked me what my worst fear was, the words that came out of my mouth baffled me. They just sort of blurted out of me as if they had a life of their own: “I’ll hurt someone and then I’ll be alone” —I sat there, thinking “WHAT? What does that even mean? I enjoy being alone. Hurt someone, how?” I had no connection to those words. And yet, saying them out loud had sent me into a cold sweat, heart pounding, breathing so shallow I was beginning to hyperventilate. There was truth in those words, but at the time, I didn’t know whose truth it was. I only knew they didn’t sound like me.
I’ve since learned a lot about people in my family system who got rejected, abandoned, and ended up feeling all alone as a result of hurting someone. It’s actually a pattern that’s repeated several times through my ancestry.
The truth is, @@every one of us is carrying around a whole lot of pain that’s not even ours.@@ My mentor Mark Wolynn calls the ancestral stuff Inherited family trauma. It shows up in our lives as judgment, fears, rage, self-sabotage. Stuff you know is irrational, but won’t go away. And sometimes, just knowing that it’s not yours helps. To have someone say “hey, this doesn’t sound like you; there’s a really good chance you picked it up somewhere.” That’s actually empowering, as a general thing, but knowing it in the particular—what the precise fear is (because these ancestral fears are very precise), where it came from, who it originated with, and how to release it — THAT can change your life.
I no longer carry this irrational fear of hurting someone and being alone. Imagine the implications of that. How much more I am going to trust myself, in relationship now? If I had this heart-pounding fear that I was going to hurt someone, how much would I have been holding myself apart in relationship? Imagine the freedom created when that gets released.
@@It can be empowering to see the pattern. It can change your life to fully release it.@@ I want that for you. I want that for all of us.
So let’s talk—what’s your worst fear? What if it wasn’t even yours? Imagine the freedom you could have if that didn’t exist for you.
It’s possible. The first step is to reach out. Contact me; we’ll find your way to greater freedom.
With love,
~K
